Medical Grads Found Doping!

KUALA LUMPUR, April 5: Three medical graduates who are currently unemployed were found by a strict fitness instructor at a local gym to be taking explicit drugs containing the sex-enhancing drug Yohimbine, bronchodilator Theophylline, compounds containing Adrenaline, and guggulsterones, among others.

Leading the pack of drug users is Mr. Felix (name changed to maintain anonymity), who is taking Ergopharm's Ergolean AMP v.2 (AMP2). It is purportedly to be the most effective thermogenics in the market, with rave reviews in many online forums. No wonder Mr. Felix was hooked instantaneously.

Refusing to lose out, Mr. Seng (again, real name withheld) got himself America's most powerful cutting capsule, the Muscletech's Hydroxycut Hardcore. This Hydroxycut comes in liquid capsules like the rest, and can ignite internal inferno. On his first day doping the Cut, Mr. Seng was already benching 80kg of weight!

Wanting to be known only as "Mad-K", he got himself a bottle of the infamous Nutrex's Lipo-6, which is no doubt a molotov cocktail disguised in capsules. It contains Yohimbine, which is able to make every part of the body rock-hard! Mad-K is on his way into the Mr. Universe arena, and is planning to make a trip to Langkawi to tan his rocky body end of this month.

Attempts to notify the Ministry of Health was in vain because the Malaysian hotline was never working. When the university's Dean of Medicine was contacted, he could only shake his head and sob in deep remorse. "Medical grads nowadays...", said he, profusely shaking his head. - ROITERS/BERNEMA.