Fat Nation!

I normally read TheStar, but today's NST front page caught my attention:

"Malaysia has the most number of fat people in the Asean region. In fact, the number of fat people in Malaysia exceeds that in many developed countries, including Germany and France."

According to NST, 56% of Malaysian adults are either obese or overweight; out of this 62% are women and 48% are men. If you're figure-blind, let me put it in words: More than half of Malaysians are fat fcuks! NST also showed a formula to tell if you're fat. Measure your waist; fat males would measure more than 35.4" (90cm) and females more than 31.5" (80cm).

The MySoN (Malaysian Shape of the Nation) survey shows that Malaysian Indians are the fattest at 63.4%, followed by Malays (53.5%), Chinese (50.8%), and others (45.2%).

"By contrast, in Singapore, about 24% of men and 48% of women are fat. Only 8% of men and 13% of women in France are fat."

Keep it up Malaysians. We might as well name our country Fattysia, Obese-sia, or maybe KennySia. Haha! Felix, if you're reading this, stop giggling! You've got 10kg more to go! And to all the fat fcuks out there, eat more KFC or McD and R.I.P.!

Male-Male Gayswear

Last Saturday was Fitness First's (Leisure Mall branch) open day, there were people coming in selling mooncakes, chinese tea, dragon fruits, etc. At one corner, there was a makeshift stall selling some cool-looking and tight-fitting singlets and T-shirts. "Interesting", I thought.

The dragon fruits were selling for RM10 for 4. Mooncake prices range from RM15-30 per piece. Reasonable price I thought. And before I approach the stall selling the T-shirts and cool looking singlets, I took my wallet along with me from my locker.

Holy shit! The red singlet above costs RM70+ after discount (original price was a freakin RM91.90). Of course, I kept my cool and didn't show my stunned look. My wallet at that time contained at most 60 bucks. Haha... I was like, Fcuk off you Gay-costume seller! Men wear menswear, gays wear gayswear!

The guy explained that his goods are imported from US and the brands were such as Andrew Christian, GoSoftwear, Ajaxx63, Modus Vivendi, and GinchGonch. I was silently screaming, Enough already you gay! All of the brand names sounded G-A-Y!!! Incidentally the guy who was talking to me all the while was tall and had a muscular physique, so I assumed that he's a godfather of all gays. Fcuk that reminded me of his moustache and goatee too. Tamade, fckuin sickening!

If you're interested, and coincidentally would like to flaunt some muscles (no, I'm not saying that you're a gay), do visit their website here or email them. Interesting website name eh? malemale.com. YUCKS!

Update:
Fitness First gym (IOI mall branch) is having their Open Day tomorrow (Sept 30). Anyone can enter, all you need to do is just fill in your particulars in a form provided and get your arse poked every now and then by the personal trainers asking you to sign up a contract with them. Do visit if you have the time. You might see the GAY salesman there if you're lucky.

Hybrid Big Cats

Zoos and menageries once bred exotic-looking hybrid big cats to attract the public just as hybrid small cats (Bengal, Chausie etc.) are now bred as pets. Hybrids are unlikely in the wild. Where big cat species have overlapping territories, they usually have different lifestyles and rarely meet. If they do meet, conflict is more likely than romance. To deliberately breed hybrids, the parent cats are raised together to overcome any natural enmity between their species. Some hybrids occur accidentally where different cat species were housed together for convenience; the keepers did not realise that the cats would - or even could - mate. The urge to mate can be so strong that they will mate with each other if there is no available partner of their own species.

"Give it to me baby, oh yeah gimme gimme gimme... Roooaaarr..."

These inter-species copulation give rise to liger (lion rams tigress) and tigon (tiger rams lioness).

"Oh yeah you lioness, I gotcha I gotcha I gotcha..."

A liger is bigger than either parent, 10 - 12 ft in length - making it the biggest hybrid cat and, for many people, the most fascinating. Ligers vary in appearance depending on how the genes interact and on which subspecies of lion and tiger are bred together. In general, males grow sparse leonine manes and the facial ruff of a tiger. Males and females have spotted bellies and a striped back. They roar like lions and "chuff" like tigers.

"My dad's name is Leo and he got drunk one nite and fcuked a tigress from next door."

The liger's huge testicles are for display only. Most often than not, they are infertile.

Tigons (alternative names are tion, tigron or tiglon) are currently rarer than ligers. It is suggested that male tigers find the courtship behaviour of a lioness too subtle and may miss behavioural cues that she is willing to mate (though lionesses actively solicit mating). It is more likely that their smaller size makes them less attractive exhibits than ligers. This is borne out by the fact that in the 19th century and early 20th century, tigons were more common than ligers.

Tigon cubs.

The mess doesn't ends here. Female tigons and ligers are often fertile and can mate with a lion, tiger or in theory with another species such as leopard or jaguar. What if the female liger gets horny and mates with a pure bred lion or tiger? The resulting cubs would be named li-liger or ti-liger. The same goes for a horny tigon's litter; li-tigon or ti-tigon. Let's not delve into cross-breeds with leopards or jaguars. Happy digesting these messy shits!

Footnote:
If Tarzan mates with a female orang utan, what would his son look like? One thing for sure, he would be named Tarz-utan.

ShaolinTiger Raped!

It was ShaolinTiger's GTi which was raped, and worst still, his relatively new Nikon D70S got stolen too! Right in the heart of the busy SS2. Read the rest of the story here.

So do this poor guy a favour. If you chance upon someone selling a D70S body with AF-S 18-70mm Nikkor f/3.5-4.5G ED DX kit lens for a great deal, do check if the serial numbers match these:

Lens S/N: 3308292
Body S/N: 6069239

You might be the next victim! So help the bruised tiger!

Sex Change

= VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED =

Have you ever asked yourself:

(1) Why wasn't I born a male with a penis?
(2) Why can't I not have period pains?
(3) Why can't I not give birth but have children?
(4) Why can't I play a more active role in sexual intercourse?
(5) Why can't I be a man?
(6) Why am I branded the weaker sex?
(7) Why can't I have a penis to wank with?
(8) Why can't I be the US president?
(9) Why must I be the mother and not the father?
(10) Why am I such a lousy driver?

... and all the "why nots" you could think of. Look no more, if you have had asked yourself the why nots listed above, the solution is here. Read on. Again, viewer discretion is advised and if you're under the age of 18, please read the rest of the article without getting caught.

The following is a step-by-step guidethrough of a sex change op, female to male.

First, the surgeon would rip the labia majora apart and make a deep incision to expose the root of your clitoris. A catheter (tube) would be inserted into your urethra (your urine pipe) to drain any retained urine or blood.

Further incisions would be made to further expose the whole length of your clitoris and the urethra.

Next, tissue would be grafted along the length of your clitoris and its glands to create the your new penis. At this point it is essential to tell your surgeon before hand if you would like it to have a prepuce or come fully circumcised. At this juncture, the opening of your vagina would be sutured together, thus closing it.

The wounds are allowed to heal. Further reconstructions and refashioning of your newly acquired penis may be needed to achieve maximal satisfaction, cosmetic wise. The last operation would be insertion of an inert material, such as silicone, to create the testicles. You may call it a pair of silicone-balls or silicone-nuts.

And voila! You have your new penis to play with. It may appear small initially (baby-dick), but later on when revascularisation (growing of blood vessels) takes place, your new organ may grow in size, depending on the situation and mood.

Fraser's Hill Escapade

We made a trip up to Fraser's Hill the past weekend for a night's stay - to get out of the busy city life, to chill out, to relax, to get something fresh rather than the weekend scenario of MidValley, OneUtama, The Curve, and the likes.

It's my third trip to Fraser's, the first being in the 80's when I was about 6 years old, and the second trip only about 2 years ago. Fraser's Hill derived its name from Louis James Fraser, a British colonial adventurer and fortune hunter, and is located on the Titiwangsa Ridge in the state of Pahang. Enough of the dull facts. Here's a picture of a beetle on Fraser's Hill:

The beetle.

"Hi, I'm a beetle and I'm a native of Fraser's Hill!"

Other than huge and colourful beetles, there are much more interesting stuff to see on Fraser's Hill. By interesting I really do mean FUN! A good example would be such as...

A dead lizard.

"Hi, I'm some kind of lizard and I'm already dead and half of my tail had already decomposed and dropped off somewhere. Could you please help me chase the irritating flies away?"

Now you get some idea what you could do on Fraser's Hill. Alrite alrite it's not that bad! We started our journey after dinner at 9pm from Ampang, and reach at about 11pm. We headed to our pre-booked apartment called Fraser's Pine Resort. The place was nice except for some musky smell all over. I was dizzified driving the winding road up, while the rest were so refreshed after a peaceful 2-hour in-car napping. My body was aching too due to some intense body-thrashing in the gym earlier in the day. I decided my brain and muscles needed some rest, and headed straight to bed, while the rest had grilled prawns for supper.

The next morning - on apartment balcony.

Inhale... pause... and exhaaaaale. Repeat 100 times. You'll get more handsome!

Mum woke all of us up early in the morning to catch the free breakfast buffet at the lobby. Dunno when my mum started to become so jinjang, I wasn't looking forward for the FREE "buffet" breakfast. And thus I wasn't too disappointed...

The free breakfast.

Omelette, hard-boiled eggs, fried noodles, and some frankfurters.

We decided to check-out from Pine Resort early to explore around. Here's a picture by the fireplace in the living room:

By the fireplace, living room.

On the apartment walkway:

Outside the lobby:

The small road on the right in the picture above is the new road leading up Fraser's Hill. In fact, when you first reach Fraser's Hill, the Fraser's Pine Resort is the first few buildings you would see.

The Glen's Bungalow.

We went picture snapping at this nice-looking bungalow called Bangalo Glen a few metres away from Pine Resort. The next stop was The Paddock, essentially a horse ranch. You could ride a horse here for RM4. There were people playing archery too. We weren't interested though.

The man standing on the ranch.

The man bonding with the horse.

We also made short trips to the Strawberry Park (unfortunately closed), a flower nursery, and a boating lake before heading home.

I dreaded driving again on the constantly winding, snakey, and narrow trunk road leading down (and up to) Fraser's Hill. I swear not to drive again should there be any future trips to Fraser's.

Accelerate, steer right & e-brake, cadence-braking, counter-steer, accelerate & steer straight.

No braking is allowed! Accelerate through...

Do not look back, especially at night!

There were no street lights and no barriers on the road shoulders, so it's a nice track for Initial-D drifting stunt actions. A note of caution, if you had previously succumbed to sea-sickness, you might suffer from car-sickness too.

Here's a map of our 1day/1night Fraser's Hill adventure for your reference:

Click to enlarge!

Fcuk Tanita TBF-300!

Fcuk the Tanita bodyfat analyser machine. I'm not gonna publish this week's result. As if I did nothing the whole past week! The result that came out from that machine was inaccurate and full of lies and deception!

This is my trainer modyfying the machine parameter. She's trying to con me.

This is a fat fcuk on the machine. Make no mistake, it ain't me on that stupid machine!

Managed to capture a spyshot of the Shieldtox muscleman on the treadmill.

I'm pissed at Tanita. Might as well rename the machine to Tamadejibai. No, I'm not going to publish the results. Call me vain or anything! I'm not fat! Diu...

Satisfied Customers

Ever since I started taking protein supplements and frequent the gym almost daily, a few typical medical students who are mundane, inactive since birth, and not to mention fat, were intimidated by the results they see in my physique. When I circulated the health supplement catalogues around, they were as excited as their first time masturbating.

From left to right: AhFat, Mania, and GaoTao.

AhFat said, "Now I can run faster than a dog with Ultimate Nutrition's Prostar Whey Protein Powder! I liked the gourmet Cocoa Mocha flavor!"

Mania interrupted, "Now I'm so strongs I can do 50 repetitions of the preacher's curls with 100kg weights on. Only after one servings of the wheys proteins! Terrors or not? I tells you, I not wants to actions here, but you sees my faces muscles also strongs-strongs liaos! I no bluffs peoples ones. I also boughts a news Panasonics Lumix FX7 digitals cameras with my PTPTN funds..." (interview censored because interviewee suffered from a manic attack).

GaoTao confessed, "Your metabolism-increasing tablets damn kao effective. It raises my core temperature so much that I'm having fever now. Diu... *sniff sniff* "

I'm sure the supplements had changed these mundane people's life. What about you? Wait no more, call me at 1800-ҜαίخόρЋЯзпїα-8282 (toll free) and ask to speak to "The No.1 Protein Supplier in Rasah Town" and stand a chance to win 2 tickets to see penguins at Zoo Negara. Act now, and buy a second bucket of Prostar Whey protein at half-price. Hurry and see how your life could be changed totally!

Protein anyone?

Another disappointing Tanita TBF-300 measurent (prev. 1; 2) this week! Fat percentage stayed the same at 20.3% and fat mass downed a "whopping" 0.02kg. Encouraging isn't it? Wait till you read this: Fat free mass (ie. muscle mass) has gone down from 54.7kg to 54.4kg! What the heck?! It is either that stupid Tanita machine was inconsistent or I've done too much cardio the past whole week.

And my solution to this problem is...

... topping up my current protein intake with nature's best protein!
CHICKEN EGGs!

Footnote:
I WANNA BEAT YAOMING! I WANNA BEAT YAOMING! I WANNA BEAT YAOMING!
I WANNA BEAT YAOMING! I WANNA BEAT YAOMING! I WANNA BEAT YAOMING!

What's with Blogspot?

Another outage from blogspot, and this time it appears that all other blogsites are affected.
Accessing any blogsite around 6pm (GMT +8.00) would direct you to a page that reads:

Internal Server Error

Error 500

Other sites are not affected so this is unlikely due to the TMnet upgrading problem.

Sabah 2004

I'm sharing some photos of my uncle's June 2004 Mount Kinabalu trip. To those who are going for the climb come November, this should make you guys more restless. Haha. Two more months to go, so enjoy these pics while counting the days.

The group: Uncle David at middle (squatting), and his gf Valerie left-most (standing).

The trail up Mount Kinabalu.

This must be another trip organised by Outward Bound Singapore, led by my uncle. They were trekking the Mersilau trail, which is 5km longer than the normal Summit's trail, and supposedly more scenic on the ridge.

Walking stick is a bonus when trekking! So go get one!

Uncle Dave and Val.

The team at Laban Rata.

The couple - somewhere near summit I guess.

Uncle Dave having his post-climb ginseng tongkat ali drink.

The Poring Hot Spring entrance.

For more pictures of the Sabah 2004 trip (140 pictures), click here.

Over-training

As part of our training for our upcoming Mount Kinabalu conquest in November, me and my gym partner, Felix hit the gym almost daily. The only deterrence is Yao Ming's group crowding the gym. But after our first intensive session, this is how Mr. Turbo Flyx looked like:

"What you looking at? Never see people on a sling before meh?"

"I looked so cool this way. Is that Malay girl checking me out? Hmm... must be!"

Now I have to wait for this weakling to recuperate and rest his muscles before resuming our intensive training. Bear in mind that my intensive trainings were so extremely intense that Mania Min normally shys away from the gym when we were training.

On the other hand, a friend Keng Tat had always felt intimidated by my nunchaku proficiency. He went to Phuket lately and chanced upon a live Muay Thai kickboxing match. He must be profoundly inspired to have bought a blue colour Muay Thai pants on the spot and came back doing this to me:

"Woo.. woo...K.K. come out from your room and face the challenge!!"

I didn't thought that was Muay Thai. Looked more like the praying-mantis to me.

God knows how long he have been training for this kind of pose. Stand also not firm. Chances are if anybody would give him a leg swipe, he would fall ungracefully. He, on the other hand, seriously needs some over-training. He was lucky I didn't have my nunchakus ready. Or else he would end up like this:

"Dead skinny chickens hanging on the wall."

"Haha, sorry KK I was only joking. I gonna wear my clothes back now."

ҜαίخόρЋЯзпїα™ Outage!

ҜαίخόρЋЯзпїα™ had a fatal, internecine, pestilent, baneful, disastrous, pernicious (you name it!) unscheduled outage yesterday evening (Sept 12, 2006). What happened was I logged into blogger to post something on my other blog, and I noticed ҜαίخόρЋЯзпїα™ wasn't on my dashboard!

I tried going to my blogsite and an Page Error was displayed. I tried logging off and on again, and it still wasn't there! As a last resort, I tried registering the site kaizophrenia.blogspot.com and it was available! How shitty. That was the last straw, I wrote a nasty letter to blogger.com demanding their full explanation and an RM1mil compensation on the time spent and great ideas and thoughts lost from my fantastic archive of blogposts. Following that, I also filed a lawsuit demanding that blogger.com be liquidated and all the blogs in the world hosted by it demolished!

They responded promptly by calling me on my mobile, apologising profusely coz they were scared shitless, and put ҜαίخόρЋЯзпїα™ back online.

God I thought ҜαίخόρЋЯзпїα™ was dead! I need a server...

Fitness First @ Leisure Mall

Made a trip to Fitness First today to collect the supplements Felix and Quincy ordered. And also to work my arse out la of course. First thing I did was to ask my trainer for another body fat measurement, hoping silently for some improvement as I've been solidly training for the past week. Oh well, here's the result:

TANITA BODY COMPOSITION ANALYSER TBF-300
Name: ҜαίخόρЋЯзпїα™
Date: 9 September 2006
Location: Fitness First, Cheras Leisure Mall

Body Type: STANDARD
Gender: MALE
AGE: 24
Height: 171cm
Weight: 68.7 kg (I've gained weight!)
Body Mass Index: 23.5 (I'm overweight too![Asian context])
Basal Metabolic Rate: 6615 kJ (1581 kcal) (increased, means UltraRipped is working!)

Impedance: 454 Ω
Fat%: 20.3% (yeah, decreased by 0.4%, way to go boy!)
Fat Mass: 14.0kg (now I'm confused, upped 0.1%)
Fat Free Mass: 54.7kg (yeah, more muscle!! By 1.5kg!)
Total Body Water: 40.0


DESIRABLE RANGE
Fat%: 14-20%
Fat Mass: 8.7 - 13.3kg

[compare previous result here]

Here are some photos of the Fitness First gym at Cheras Leisure Mall. Impressed by the rows of machines they have? At peak hours, you may not find any available treadmills!


This is the weight-machine section, where you could do non-assisted weight training. You generally warm your muscles up here before heading upstairs for the free-weight training. Most chicks loiter around here; most shy away from the upstair section.


This is the free-weight training section located on the second floor, where most of the hardcore muscle-pumping actions are seen. If you're lucky, you could see the Shieldtox muscleman training here! You could ask him for a pay-per-view doing his "box into palm" action and yell, "SHIELDTOX"!!


A small cafe and reading section is designated for club members to chill out, besides gulping down on the free flow beverages. A good place to get to know some chicks too.


I was training for biceps, triceps, and chest. Here are some pics my lovely trainer took for me: