1st Day of Fam.Med.

Today marked my first day of Family Medicine (Fam.Med) posting. It's gonna be a 4-week long and neverending slacking on my part. Slacking Orthopaedics and Psychiatry postings the past 4 weeks have been blissful! With Fam.Med coming, I solemnly pledge to be a devoted and faithful slacker.

*mediocre photos due to cheap spy-cam.

The photo above is Dr. TCL, the godfather of evidence-based medicine and medical research. He briefed us about our Fam.Med posting, took us to this shitty clinic called Klinik Kesihatan Ampangan which was about 10km from Uni. And we have to be here for 3 weeks! Kaninabu...

Dr. TCL gave us a tour around the clinic, and went into the laboratory to get a HIV test kit. He wanted to perform a HIV test on one of the medical student for the sake of the public health, as the aforementioned student was an ex-IVDU, looked cachectic, and had a dilated anal verge, a clear sign of homosexual practice.

The HIV test kit package. Made in Korea.

Let's just call this medical student Mr. GSTPAID. There were about 13 of us in that small consultation room, and needless to say Mr. GSTPAID was anxious, perplexed, and manic. He was also concerned about his confidentiality and the test results being used by the 13-odd people in that room against him.

Mr. GSTPAID studying the HIV consent form.

Mr. GSTPAID: This is not confidential!
Dr. TCL: Why is it not? You do not need to fill in your name. In fact, the form says "Voluntary and Anonymous Test".
Mr. GSTPAID: But this form asks for my IC number! People can trace everything from IC number!
Dr. TCL: Can you type in IC numbers on Google search and get other people's info? You idiot! Why don't you use your brain? Are you having HIV encephalopathy?
Mr. GSTPAID: ..... Tiu nia singh ah! I don't wanna take this test already!!!
Dr. TCL: Come on, don't be childish (proceed to whisper something into GSTPAID's ear).

After some intense cock-staring and some further persuasion from Dr. TCL, Mr. GSTPAID gave in. We saw Dr. TCL whispering something into Mr. GSTPAID's right ear again (I thought I saw Dr. TCL licking his ear while doing that), and they smiled at each other shamelessly right after.

Dr. TCL showing us the HIV test kit. Looked somewhat like urine pregnancy test kit.
He looks abit ham-sap dun you think?

Mr. GSTPAID got his finger pricked for blood.

To cut the long story short, Dr. TCL went ahead with the procedure and Mr. GSTPAID yelled like a sissy biatch when pricked. And after 15mins of anxiety and panic attack, Mr. GSTPAID was declared HIV-negative. That is, for now.

Mr. GSTPAID screaming for his momma coz he's too sissy to take the small pain.